hair fail – and a giveaway

19 Mar

I only wished my hair looked this good. I'm pretty sure I could have molded it into this pretty easily, though...

In my imaginary world, I am a wonderful hippie who grows her own food on my (also imaginary) roof-top garden next to my (fictional) solar panels and (nonexistent) menagerie of animals. I also live in a commune with all of my best friends and all day long we laugh and play and create organic something-or-anothers from the wonderful, natural materials we have grown together with love and friendship. I’m also a mermaid, but that’s another story.

In reality, my hippiedom has merely translated into sometimes buying some organic stuff and using non-toxic cleaners in my house (at least I can always eat whatever falls on the floor…). But the desire to improve is there and I am constantly looking for little (aka: easy) ways in which I can feel better about my lifestyle.

Enter shampoo bars.

More specifically, shampoo bars made (with love!!) by a mom-and-pop outfit in Ohio – OHIO! – with happy, natural, planet-pleasing ingredients like snuggles and lollipops. AND none other than my beautiful opera-singer friend,* owner of miles and miles of shiny, shampoo-commercial-worthy hair, swore by the stuff. I figured the proof was in the pudding, right?

I bought the shampoo bars. I used the shampoo bars. My hair felt funny and a little dull. I kept using the shampoo bars (the website said it can take a week or two for your hair to adjust). My hair started to feel as if I were coating it with wax or plastic. I switched flavors of shampoo bars (did I tell you that I bought six different samples? I was going to find the BEST shampoo bar for my hair!). My hair continued to feel plastic-y and was starting to look dirty. I rinsed my hair with baking soda and vinegar. I kept at it. I was determined. Pretty soon I could barely get a brush through my hair, let alone a comb, and putting my hair into a pony tail felt less like a simple act of daily life and more like an epic struggle against unnatural forces. Yet I still continued to use the shampoo bars. I was going to have beautiful, shiny, earth friendly hair! I just had to wait until my hair “adjusted” to the new soap. Oh, and people, I still have bangs so you can imagine what sort of looks I was getting out on the streets of Chicago.

Finally, I gave up. I saw on their website that the soap doesn’t work so good for people with hard water (apparently, the Great Lakes region has very hard water.) But I did not yet hang up the towel. *insert laugh* Oh no, if mom-and-pop shampoo bars weren’t going to work, at least I could use the all-organic amazing shampoo and conditioner touted by beauty insiders around the world as the most wonderful shampoo in the world. *insert sparkles* All I had to do was sell a kidney to buy it. And I’d like to say it didn’t work or that I realized the folly of spending five brazillion dollars on a small bottle of shampoo so I never ordered it. But I did order it; and it probably would have worked, too, if it didn’t smell like death eating a grilled cheese. I never used it.

So dear friends, the moral of the story is that being a green machine doesn’t always work. I’m sending back the expensive stuff and have gone back to my drug store “evil” shampoo.

But my hair looks good…

* For those of you that don’t have any opera-singer friends, the ladies are notorious for knowing how to look good. There’s a reason they’re called “divas.”

Oh yeah, I mentioned a give-away! I still have three sample sizes of the shampoo bars that I am never going to use. If you’d like to try ’em out, I’ll send them to you. First responder gets them. Just make sure you don’t have hard water!

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4 Responses to “hair fail – and a giveaway”

  1. Sunny March 20, 2012 at 5:32 pm #

    Do I win? I have hard water so I will take second place. Sorry hippiedom didn’t work out. Pantene may not be green but at least it smells nice.

    • ferrellandfarrell March 23, 2012 at 5:04 pm #

      You absolutely win. Apparently I didn’t make the shampoo bars sounds so enticing.

  2. Sunny March 23, 2012 at 6:50 pm #

    Yaaaaa! You love me, you really love me.

  3. heatherfrench June 11, 2012 at 4:37 am #

    Ok, seriously! Your blog makes me laugh so hard! Please don’t send me the shampoo bars, I have very hard water. FYI: YES to Carrots! is a great hippie shampoo that leaves my hair feeling as nice as, Well… Pantene. I wish all of us lived in your above mentioned hippie world… and I want to know alot more about the mermaid thing! Love you!

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